In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
