I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
