if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
