you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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