so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
