is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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