so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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