This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
