the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
