She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
