also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
