please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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