how can u be prego again
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The feeling are messing with the penis
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
