Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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