he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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