just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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