their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
