next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
