I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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