1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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