Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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