just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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