i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
