ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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