ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
