would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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