And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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