I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize