PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
