David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
