Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
