3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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