He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
