I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
