You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
