i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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