You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
