yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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