We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Alive.
So much puke
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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