i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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