distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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