she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
