I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
