I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
