Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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