We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
