You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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