No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
