it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
