he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
