I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
