I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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