Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
