if you like me you must not know who I am
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
