I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
