Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Randomize
