i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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