I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
