He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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