everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
