Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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