Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
